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Serving Etiquette

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    Has anyone noticed over the years that more and more restaurants in the US are getting a bit lax on their serving etiquette? The thing that surprises me most is how often I'll be at a fairly nice restaurant and the waiter or waitress will come by and clear the plates of those who have finished first — leaving the plate(s) of those who are still eating. Of course, I'm not talking about Michelin Starred restaurants. I'm talking about the upscale restaurants that are actually trying hard to get good reviews.

    I can see how a sever might think that this is attentive service, but it's far from polite. That always bugs me, and I was wondering if anyone else has noticed the same thing in other areas of the country (or the world?).

    Maybe even more surprising is the fact that it costs nearly nothing to educate a server on the proper serving etiquette. How hard is it anyway?

    Thanks from: Herry Lawford
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    I couldn't agree more with the lack of serving etiquette. My personal pet peeve that I think is quite disgusting is the food servers "auctioning" off food. "Who had the lamb chops?", "White Fish?", etc. etc. I expect this at a Denny's but anywhere else it is a crime.

    Thanks from: Herry Lawford
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    On our first trip to Italy we felt that the waiters at most mid-level restaurants were inattentive, so we didn't have to worry about our plates being removed too quickly. We soon realized that the slow and inattentive service was just was the norm in Italy. The good news is that eventually the waiters would come by and properly clear everyone at the same time the way it's supposed to be done.

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    Even worse are the waiters who stack all of the plates on one arm — as if it were a contest.

    The proper way to serve is to have both the serving and the clearing of plates synchronized so that everyone's plates are coming and going at the same time. This is why many fine restaurants will not serve their tasting menus unless everyone at the table has agreed to order it. Timing is everything when it comes to serving etiquette, and unless everyone's courses are synchronized, the plates can't be served and cleared at the same time.

    Imagine how awkward it would feel if you were on your second to last course of a tasting menu, and everyone else at the table had already finished their meal. The waiters would feel compelled to clear the table, but their wouldn't be a proper way to time it.

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    Nanoose, what an excellent way to phrase it. The 'auctioning' is one of my peeves, as it requires you to raise a hand, point or otherwise 'win' your food as you would in an auction. There's nothing upscale about that...

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    May I add a couple of my pet peeves? I dislike the server asking, "Are you still working on that?" I didn't realize it was a chore.

    I also have a problem with the server scraping my plate into a "doggy bag" at the table rather than in the kitchen. Yikes! Not a pleasant sight.

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    Maybe I'm a remnant from my grandmother's day, as she taught me etiquette, but I hate it when the wait staff in expensive restaurants don't know to serve and remove from the right. There's nothing worse than talking with someone and having the plate shoved in from the left unexpectedly. I also dislike how inattentive some waiters can be. I'm not shy about flagging ANYONE down, even the manager or the maitre d' if my glass hasn't been kept full, but I shouldn't have to make such a spectacle of myself.

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    This is a great topic. Even at the Michelin rated restaurants they servers can mess up big time. Nearly every other day I dine at Cipriani due to the fact that it is located within my residential building and more often than not there are mistakes made by the servers. Every time I put down my fork they come to ask if I am finished even if I have half of my meal left, they clear the table at odd times, serve from wherever they are located and do not clear silver or replace it as it should be replaced. The worst happened a few weeks back when the waiter came to me and my colleagues and asked if we would like dessert, halfway through our meal... It was horrible.

    Thanks from: Herry Lawford
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    Your feelings about the shortcomings associated with the Cipriani restaurant in New York are certainly consistent with the review that the New York Times gave it last year:

    http://events.nytimes.com/2007/11/14/dining/reviews/14rest.html?scp=18&sq=Cipriani&st=nyt

    We've dined in Cipriani restaurants in Venice, Madeira (at Reid's Palace) and in Lisbon and, in general, we've found them to be quite good. Consequently, why the one in New York is so awful is, indeed, perplexing.

    Based on your other recent posts on Extravigator.com, you certainly have travelled extensively, all around the world. With this in mind, even though it may be a little inconvenient, you ought to dine outside of your building more often! There are quite a few really good restaurants within walking distance of the Cipriani in Manhattan.

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    Upon reading all of the comments about food service in restaurants, I feel the need to "defend" the wait staff. The problem is usually with management and the desire to "speed service along." Management are the ones who tell "us" to clear plates when they are done "Prebussing". some restuarants protocol is for the server to "scrape to go food at the table" because so many people have issues with servers packing their food to go, especially if there were any "issues" during the dining experience. Auctioning off food however is a no-no in every restaurant I've ever worked in and some of the other "infractions" is due to lack of training and an unclear expectation of the server by those that are running the place. Servers do make errors and some just dont care,those are unfortunatly unavoidable. Next time you have an issue with a server error try talking to management about "their" policies and most have an online guest survey. trust me, they DO get read and we DO hear about them.

    Thanks from: Herry Lawford
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    I have to agree with trece on many points.

    There's a nice restaurant where I live and I always noticed that the help seemed to be stressed out and unhappy (even though they tried to hide it.)

    Having been intrigued by some facets of the service industry anyway, I decided to find out for myself, and worked there first hand.

    It was definitely the managements policies and procedures that cause almost all of the havoc. I was shocked, to say the very least.

    There is a huge amount of pressure on servers to speed up turn around time for every table. Many managers see tables as nothing more than dollar machines that are supposed to be pumping out money every half an hour on-the-dot. (Instead of an opportunity to make it a pleasant experience for the guests who might return.)

    The uneasiness and rushed feelings the customers experienced were all due to the behind the scenes barking from the managers usually asking why the "Table 3 hasn't left yet!?" and lack of professionalism or decent training.

    I explained it to the managers I worked for and it didn't make much of a difference at first. Unless it came from a customer, they didn't take it seriously.

    The poor training had such a horrible ripple effect on the customer's final experience and I couldn't believe the people in charge didn't realize it.

    Like trece mentioned. Let the management know. Unless they hear otherwise, they assume their procedures and policies are "just fine".

    Of course, like it was mentioned, some employees just don't care or only care about tips. That's even more disappointing.

    Update:
    After reading a book titled "Setting The Table" I went to one of the owner's best friends, casually mentioned it and later saw her sit the owner down to read parts of it...

    Months later I was told things have improved a lot :). Sometimes it amazes me that some businesses haven't caught on to things like that.

    Thanks from: Herry Lawford

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