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Serving Etiquette

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    Has anyone noticed over the years that more and more restaurants in the US are getting a bit lax on their serving etiquette? The thing that surprises me most is how often I'll be at a fairly nice restaurant and the waiter or waitress will come by and clear the plates of those who have finished first — leaving the plate(s) of those who are still eating. Of course, I'm not talking about Michelin Starred restaurants. I'm talking about the upscale restaurants that are actually trying hard to get good reviews.

    I can see how a sever might think that this is attentive service, but it's far from polite. That always bugs me, and I was wondering if anyone else has noticed the same thing in other areas of the country (or the world?).

    Maybe even more surprising is the fact that it costs nearly nothing to educate a server on the proper serving etiquette. How hard is it anyway?

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    I couldn't agree more with the lack of serving etiquette. My personal pet peeve that I think is quite disgusting is the food servers "auctioning" off food. "Who had the lamb chops?", "White Fish?", etc. etc. I expect this at a Denny's but anywhere else it is a crime.

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    On our first trip to Italy we felt that the waiters at most mid-level restaurants were inattentive, so we didn't have to worry about our plates being removed too quickly. We soon realized that the slow and inattentive service was just was the norm in Italy. The good news is that eventually the waiters would come by and properly clear everyone at the same time the way it's supposed to be done.

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    Even worse are the waiters who stack all of the plates on one arm — as if it were a contest.

    The proper way to serve is to have both the serving and the clearing of plates synchronized so that everyone's plates are coming and going at the same time. This is why many fine restaurants will not serve their tasting menus unless everyone at the table has agreed to order it. Timing is everything when it comes to serving etiquette, and unless everyone's courses are synchronized, the plates can't be served and cleared at the same time.

    Imagine how awkward it would feel if you were on your second to last course of a tasting menu, and everyone else at the table had already finished their meal. The waiters would feel compelled to clear the table, but their wouldn't be a proper way to time it.

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    Nanoose, what an excellent way to phrase it. The 'auctioning' is one of my peeves, as it requires you to raise a hand, point or otherwise 'win' your food as you would in an auction. There's nothing upscale about that...

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    May I add a couple of my pet peeves? I dislike the server asking, "Are you still working on that?" I didn't realize it was a chore.

    I also have a problem with the server scraping my plate into a "doggy bag" at the table rather than in the kitchen. Yikes! Not a pleasant sight.

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    Maybe I'm a remnant from my grandmother's day, as she taught me etiquette, but I hate it when the wait staff in expensive restaurants don't know to serve and remove from the right. There's nothing worse than talking with someone and having the plate shoved in from the left unexpectedly. I also dislike how inattentive some waiters can be. I'm not shy about flagging ANYONE down, even the manager or the maitre d' if my glass hasn't been kept full, but I shouldn't have to make such a spectacle of myself.

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